Neither Waving Nor Drowning

massive and weighty as it was
the cruise ship still felt the impact
of the first three waves
bouncing and rocking under their impact
they made her seasick and miserable

when the fourth one struck
it caught her on deck, still
unbalanced from the one before
she hit the water with barely a splash
hardly a ripple

the ocean’s cold sucked the breath
from her lungs
stole her voice, sure as a sea witch
so she bobbed a bit
in the black
treading water
while the ship went on without her

by the time they noticed
shouting,
pointing,
throwing
their life preservers
she was reminded
reminded that these waters
these shark-infested, deep, dark waters
were familiar

she knew how to swim here
she’d done it before
so she struck out
not toward the ship but away from it

away from the perpetual party
its bright lights, white noise
the forced laughter
awkward conversations
the cries of “Iceberg ahead!”
not jokes, but not taken seriously
enough to turn the ship
away from all of it

she swam as far as her arms would take her
then comfortably uncomfortable in her solitude
floated on her back
weightless
staring up into the inky expanse
so that maybe,

maybe

in the absence of distraction she might
see the stars again
and
in them
rediscover hope
and wonder

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