I went with a friend to go and see the Lighthouse because everyone who knows anything about movies told me to and that’s just how I live my life. The truth about this experience was that it was unnerving, uncomfortable, and a little unsatisfying if I’m going to be honest. And this is coming from a girl who watched Requiem for a Dream twice. In a row. I’m used to art that makes a person uncomfortable, and so this is not coming from a “my sensibilities are offended” head space. I just feel like the film missed something that both me, and my queer friend noticed… it could have been so much gayer, and it would’ve been better that way.

Now, this is not meant to be seen as a thing where I point at a movie/ book/ whatever and say “thing is bad cause thing is not gay.” That’s a boring way to look at media, and I’m sorry, but I want good representation for myself and The Gays™. No, the real reason why I am calling gay BS is because the film that I was shown was the historic gay experience except it felt as if someone hastily erased the rainbow flag behind Robert Pattinson’s character.

Let me give a quick synopsis for those who need a reminder, for those uninformed about the movie, and for those who just came for the article but not the movie itself.

Two guys, named Ephraim Winslow and Thomas Wake are left to watch over a lighthouse together. Ephraim, who is Thomas’s junior, works under grueling conditions, but when their time on the island is up, they become stranded because of a storm. Without many resources, and stuck in close quarters, the two learn more about each other’s dark pasts and what brought them both to the water logged island. Psychosis ensues. 

Normally, I wouldn’t really bat an eye about this type of thing. I see unsatisfying movies all the time, hell I even read unsatisfying books more often than I’d like to admit and that’s a 8-40 hr investment. But… the thing is, this film just felt so blatantly gay. And not just from the perspective of Ephraim’s backstory. 

The conversations between Ephraim and Thomas could be seen as fairly platonic at first, but as they spend more and more time together, it seems like Ephraim gets closer to Thomas. Often within the film they are seen physically close, in ways that are both a little creepy and a little lovely. At one point I legitimately thought they were going to kiss, but there was this huge “no-homo” moment where they decide to wrestle instead (insert eyeroll here). 

Here’s the thing. If the film would have gone there, I truly believe that the plot of the narrative would have had a solid base. Instead it often felt adrift, which one could argue was the point of the movie, but I found the lack of plot a little distracting. The front end of the film had more structure due to the countdown to the last day Thomas and Ephraim have to survive on the lighthouse, but after the storm locked them in, it just lost all sort of tension for me. 

I knew that someone would die, and the only truly unsettling moments were when the weird tentacle monster moments would happen. By the end of the movie I was deeply unsettled, sure, but the more pervasive feeling was that the movie never reached it’s emotional climax and only a psycho-sexual one. And even that felt unsatisfying. 

It’s hard to be mad at this film in all honesty. I like the way it was shot, and I loved many of the character moments, but I just can’t stop thinking what it would have meant if it really delved into the moments of opressive masculinity and gay repression and the monstering of the inner self could also manifest on the outer self.